Although we may not see each other everyday, I still think of you now and then. Thinking of you became my daily routine no matter how hard I tried to shake you off my mind. So many things happened these few weeks, and more to come for the next few. If I know, I wouldn’t have to be in such a miserable state, putting on a brave front. It’s time to let go and continue with life, cause nothing can change the situation, despite the countless of attempt I tried, you never look me in your eyes.

Overseas university, I’m coming. Singapore has left me with too many, far too many unhappiness. The departure of my loved ones, the arguments over family assets, those unsupportive friends and citizens who uses results to gauge a person’s character and personalities.

I know that by doing so(as in studying overseas), is not the solution for all these problems, more to avoiding them. Since, I can’t find an absolute solution, so let me do it my way. There’s so many things I wish to say, but I find no one to hear me out. Yes, I’ve friends, so many friends(about 690 friends on Facebook), but why can’t I find that particular person whom I can pour my sorrows to.

Am I not fit to talk to you?
If nothing I do can satisfy the requirements of being a friend of yours, why am I still working so hard and torturing myself further? I tried to be the best, in almost every thing I do, what more do you expect? Because I know academic results is one of the factors that determines your status in this harsh and cruelty society, so I stayed up throughout the night studying. Just because people show more respect to JC/POLY students, I went to JC. I’m not an élite, more to a fool, thinking that by levelling up with those elites, people’s viewpoint of me would be better. I was wrong, I’m still a look-down-upon NSK in the eyes of many.

Nothing I do can impress the people around me, because my fate has been sealed.

All should come to an end.

What that is happening now becomes a history the next second.

There will never be a moment whereby time stops and wait.

Cruelty.

But, think of it again, every next second will be better

I miss my secondary school days.
No sleep-inducing classes at that time.
Always trying all ways to copy homework, skip classes, debate with the teachers.

My CCA – NPCC <3
How I became a prominent person in the school by screwing up myself.
How we participated parades after parades
How we participated in Captain's Ball and Amazing Race..
How we survived every ATCs
How we undergo the shoot and getting an incredible 3-in-3-out (of 18 shots).
So many …

Secondary one,
How we tease our own classmates, giving them nicknames.
How we quarrel in class.
How we got the best class for sports' day.
How we got our (cleaner's) class t-shirt.
How we copied homework and having REAP every week.
How we shout across the room now and then.

Secondary 2.
How we chased away 4(or rather 5) teachers.
How notorious we are.
How we bully others.
How we just hack-care about our studies.
How we gossip.

Secondary 3.
How I keep failing my english and A-Maths
How I manage to bottom last 18 of the cohort.
How I mistreat my teachers(again).
How I smoke my way through when it comes to handing homework.

Secondary 4.
How I know more friends.
How we had our first class gathering at Palawan Beach.
How we study together.
How we know what we want after Secondary School.
How we care for each others.

Time really flies, even though I try to self-deny it.
It doesn't seem to me in any sense that this year is the end of my teenage year.
I'm missing the carefree life once again.

If only a rewind button is available in life, …

Two different person, yet sharing the same mentality, the same thinking.
Am I dreaming? How similar can they be?
DILEMMA.

But the fact is that you still stays in my mind, as clear as crystal, I can assure that!
Emo, don’t ever use that word to describe me, thankyou!
Being deep in thoughts and being emo is completely different things.

Sometimes, I believe giving up is not the end.
It just marks the end of another chapter of my life, such that a new chapter can begin. It encourages me to overcome myself from the previous stage of my life, allows me to recharge and energize myself further. Having said so much, the question again is ‘if I give up now, what made me hang on for so long?’

It hurts.

9 weeks later, I am proud to say
Army is about brotherhood.
Army is about polishing a coal and turning it into a diamond.
Army is about leadership.
Army is about serving and protecting our loved ones.
Army is not a waste of 2 years.
Army is not just ‘lepak’.

I’ve just completed my 24km route march and passed out from sunny tekong.

Before even leaving tekong, I remembered how I came into the VIPER family, get to know my BUDDY, my SECTION MATES and my COMMANDERS.
Even though as a VIPER recruit, I was mind-fucked to the max, I was fucked in terms of all the physical trainings and during fieldcamp, but these are the most unforgettable memories that will etch in my life.

It always hurt having to know you’re stepping into a new environment, starting everything all over again. The same goes for me, it hurts having to leave tekong, even though I didn’t mean that I love tekong all the while, but still, I <3 my bunkmates, I love my platoon mates, I love being V2207.

One army, many experiences.
Thank you ARMY!

Can hardly believe I’m already a graduate of YishunJC.
Can hardly believe I’m in army.
Can hardly believe I’m surviving fit as a VIPER warrior.
Can hardly believe I’m going to pass out from BMTC in another week time.

There’s simply too many unbelievable events that happened to me within a year.

Even though,
I’ve lost my freedom,
I’ve lost my say,
I’ve lost my hair,
I’ve lost my 2years.

But,
I’ve gained physical fitness,
I’ve gained a sense of achievement,
I’ve gained many unforgettable friends,
I’ve gained a better time management,
I’ve gained discipline.
I’ve gained memorable 8 weeks,

Feels like the world is still fair.
Lost something, and gained another.
I would say I’ve gained a lot in army, more than what I’ve lost.

Thank you VIPER.
Thank you BMTC.

It’s a matter of hardwork and not whether you’re born with the intelligent.
Intensive for the JC2. I somehow couldn’t stand the intensive timetable.

Though, was in the better group for Econs, but for Chemistry & GP.
I wasn’t in the best group.
I need to work hard.

Furthermore, I failed my Maths Paper 1 by 10marks.
Cause I didn’t attend 2 Questions that is worth 26 Marks in total!

WORK HARD!

I never knew I’m so weak, I never knew I could carry on the second half of my journey in JC life.

This is too much of a blow to me, I tripped, I fell and never willing to stand up again. I know this is never expected from me.
This is so much of a disappointment.
Anyway, I need to adapt to my current feelings.
Don’t disturb.

It’s time to pick up the pieces of me and piece them up again
I shall walk on and I know I have to.
Goodluck